Creativity Overload

Well… constant blogging doesn’t seem to be my thing. Doubt that will change with the new blog, but at least now I can post in both German and English with an actual chance of my English readers seeing and understanding what I’m doing here. I mean, this still needs work, but with the way my mind is doing overtime at the moment, I guess I’ll make it happen soon.

Besides writing some One-Shots with movie quote prompts, I’ve also been to the cinema and watched a lot of DVDs and I’ve recently discovered that there are just too many great fandoms out there, and I haven’t got enough time for all of them, even though I try. Sadly. With Star Trek Into Darkness hitting the cinemas I’ve re-discovered my inner Star Trek fangirl, and I actually understand by now what the big deal about Benedict Cumberbatch is – he’s a great actor, and I love him both as Khan and as Sherlock Holmes. That fact describes my problem rather aptly, because while I’ve started writing my new Star Trek Saga All through the Night only a few days after I’ve seen the movie, and I still love the idea and my characters and my plot (I mean, you don’t get to stage a coup against the United States government every day!), I’ve been reading and watching so much stuff due to being ill for near two months now that my mind is getting flooded with so many crazy ideas that I can barely keep track. I can’t even decide what to read at the moment… I spent the evening at Meryton two days ago and threw my first “Pride and Prejudice in Vienna” draft into the trash (it really was terrible!), yesterday, I discovered the joys of Darcy Lewis and Steve Rogers (and oh my god, they’re cute together and I totally need to write something about them!), I’ve done a bit of writing for All through the Night, and today, I’m editing the next chapter of The Long Way Home… slowly. Very slowly. About a sentence at a time…

I just hate editing… but as I’ve already started posting, I don’t want to keep my readers waiting too long, especially as I’ve already got a thousand views for the story, and that’s a lot for something with my mediocre English pseudo-historical writing style… I just hope that they don’t go all away now that we’ve left all the action behind and get to start the romancing part of the story. Let’s face it, I’m better at writing stuff in contemporary English ;)

Now I just have to figure out how to burn all that nervous energy I’m tingling with, and then maybe I’ll actually get some writing done… maybe.

And what shall I do now?

The Long Way Home is waiting to get a general revision, but I’m not really motivated to do that right now. First, I don’t like revisions in general (and that is an understatement), and second, I’ve only just finished revising 250 pages of Harry Potter fanfiction… enough is enough. In addition, I really like to write in German now that I’ve gotten into it again, and I doubt that I’m going to find a lot of mistakes in an English text when I’ve just started to think in German again. So… I guess I’m going to wait a bit with that, and do just the same with Upon my Honour. It won’t run away, and I’m confident that soon, I’m going to get another OMG! I have to read Jane Austen!-Flash again, and then’ll be the right time to re-read the manuscript and finish it, even though it is temting to take one of these (nearly) finished projects and post them while my beta readers are taking a look at my marauder fic.

Marauders and the Ring

Not only have I finished my Marauder fic Nebel über Hogwarts nearly five years after I’ve posted the first chapter, I’ve also spent a comfortable evening in bed with The Fellowship of the Ring. To my surprise, re-watching the movie gave me a whole new appreciation of Boromir’s character – last time I took a look at him, I was twelve years old and he was the vile guy I couldn’t really understand. Now, he’s become Tolkien’s most interesting character in the whole book/movie, just because he’s not so good that he can read in bed without lighting a candle, and after reading some nice stories about him (and some not so nice ones – the LotR fandom seems to be 90 per cent prescient sues), I’ve made my own attemt called The Long Way Home. I’m really proud that I’ve written 98 pages in English, but unfortunately, that also means 98 pages are waiting for a revision… and I don’t like revisions at all, as illustrated by my first Star Wars fanfiction which is waiting for me to re-visit it for near six years now.

But after two years of not posting a new story at all, I’ve now got two completed stories on my hands that I can post in the foreseeable future, and that certainly is an improvement, meaning that I can take a look at my countless projects and ideas and write some of them without having to feel bad for the people waiting for an update for already posted stories. I hope that I’ll be done with The Long Way Home at about the same time my beta readers are done proof-reading Nebel über Hogwarts, but the last few years have taught me about the best-laid schemes of mice and men… sadly.

Okay

I’ve decided to pause Upon my Honour for the moment… or rather, my muse decided to pause it for me. During the Soccer World Cup, a friend of mine, who’s a great fan, talked so much about Soccer Player Real Person Fanfiction that I decided to read, and ultimately, write some, so I’ve started a new story called Truths (that nevertheless is written in German). With that, work on Upon my Honour has moved aside for the moment, although I’m staying in the genre and still writing romance. I guess I’ll get back to it after I’ve either tired of Truths or need to wait for reality to catch up with my writing.

Part Two

While my neighbours are terrorizing me with their vuvuzelas and my internet is slower than an athritic turtle walking backwards (if it is there at all), I’ve actually managed to write 3475 words and finish chapter 39 and the second part of Upon my Honour at the same time.

This means that I’m going to start Part Three soon (yeah, I know, that comes as a surprise), something I’m looking forward to ever since I’ve started writing Upon my  Honour. I’m getting to reveal the secret and the connections between the characters, and I’ll finally get the romance I’ve been aiming to write from the start… making my inner girl very happy.

My only problem is that I’m not feeling quite content with what I’ve written – again. When I read what I’ve written, everything is fine, and I can’t put my finger on any problem, but I can’t shake that feeling that what I’ve written is total crap and that I shouldn’t post this anywhere, and that it’s a total waste of time to try and finish this story.

Maybe it’s because the plot and character development have changed so much from what I’ve originally had in mind that I can’t be quite content – Mr Farrington was actually planned as a classic “Rogue”, a very unlikeable character who turns out to be not as bad as Catherine had suspected, but that didn’t work out quite as planned. Although he is portrayed as a man being talked about, he actually is quite nice, if you can overlook what Miss Blackwood and Miss Alworth say.

I guess I’m just not quite content with the whole story. I feel like Upon my Honour is not romantic enough, not exciting enough, the secret is all too apparent to experienced readers and as a whole, the plot, the characters  and the style are not good enough to warrant the effort of finishing the story and then posting it. It kind of feels like a waste of time… that changes when I read the separate chapters and can’t find anything to change, but the overall impression is less than favourable. Maybe I should wait with my final decision about posting or not-posting until the story is finished, but in the meantime, I can’t help but having a bad feeling about this.